Saw You

Saw your car today.

I mean, not really. I'm 200 miles away. But, I walked out of a gas station and across the street, a car just like yours was sitting there idling, those headlights I know so well shining right at me. I imagine the driver, if they were in there, wondered why I couldn't stop looking over to them as I walked to my own car…

But, it got me thinking… I am hoping all the time that I'll run into you sometime while I'm out and about.

I mean… I've seen you. In your car. We've crossed paths many times. I can't decide if it's unusual for us to cross paths as often as we do, or if it's just that I've trained myself so well to see your car in particular… Sometimes I don't know for sure… sometimes it might be that other one with the similar license plate design. Or I can't even see the plate at all (and I can almost never see you… even when I'm jogging, unless the light is just right, I can usually only barely make out your hand in the window, sometimes not even that…). But sometimes… I just feel it. I know it's you. As if I can sense your presence or something. I dunno. It's probably nonsense, I'm probably wrong. But I dunno. There's a lot I didn't used to believe in before I started on this journey… But now…

But I do, I think about actually running into you at a grocery store or something. Waaaaay back when we were all wearing masks everywhere, there were a few times I thought for a second… maybe… maybe… but, no. The eyes were never quite as beautiful as yours. The hair never quite as striking. Oh well.

But… what would we do if we did? I mean… chat, right? That's just about guaranteed, isn't it? At least now. For a while there, maybe not, nervousness overtaking me (and I suspect you, too, for a time…). But now? We would certainly chat.

Would I tell you I love you? Seems… awkward. But… what if it just slipped out? I have enough sense to keep it in when others are around, but if it were just you and me? I dunno…

Would we… sneak off to find a quiet corner somewhere? A dark little spot that's nowhere near as private as we hope, where I would wrap my arms around you and our lips would find each other for the first time? I'm guessing not, but again… I dunno. Maybe. Maybe. Sometimes I feel like it's all I can do to keep my hands off of you…

Oh, ⭐️… I don't know what I'm doing. But I know I love you. I know I want to kiss you and hold you and be there for you. I know I want to be able to do it freely, out in the open. I know I want to gross people out with our PDA.

But I'm starting to think maybe I might take conversations in the dark, too…

I love you, ⭐️. I want you. I need you. You are… astonishing. Astonishingly beautiful. Astonishingly sweet. Astonishingly smart. Astonishingly strong. Astonishingly fun. Astonishingly sexy. Astonishingly… everything. I love you.

sigh

Looks like I'll be home sometime tomorrow. Hope to cross your path soon.

Yours,
♒️