Writing You Here

I don't suppose it's any real surprise, but the more we talk to each other in real life, the less need I feel to write you here… And we've been talking to each other a lot lately, at least relatively speaking. It's nowhere near enough (could it be, ever?) but… writing here has always been at least in part about scratching an itch — my intense desire to interact with you — that was difficult or, I often thought, impossible to do in the real world. That's probably been misguided from the start… but it's clearly misguided now.

So I probably won't write you here as much anymore. Not turning it all the way off… there are still things I can't tell you yet, not on Facebook anyways. We'll see what I manage to squeak out if we ever get more than a few minutes alone… But sometimes, my heart is just absolutely overflowing and the need to tell you how much I love you is overwhelming… So I may still write one of those every now and again.

And, well… let's face it. There's a whole class of letters that would be wildly inappropriate to share with you at this point… And those things… well, that's no less overwhelming. Seriously, you have no idea how intense the need to… make you happy… is sometimes… Those are already rarer, but I can't promise I won't do one from time to time. I'll just do what I've always done with them, which is pretend that you have found me, and that you use those letters to fuel your own fantasies…

I mean. It's nice to think so, at any rate. Really nice to think so… ahem.

But, that's probably going to be it going forward. I just… I don't really feel a need for the rest of it anymore. Now that I know you're open to actually chatting with me here and there… That's what these have all really been about anyways — a sort of fantasy that I was really talking to you. A desperate attempt to fill an overpowering need that I didn't think could be filled otherwise.

You can't possibly know how glad I am to have finally learned that that notion was incorrect. Good god, I love talking to you. Wish I was better at it, but I'll get there. Just… be myself. You always seem to like that.

Love you, beautiful. I still can't quite believe it's really happening… but the evidence is becoming irrefutable. Still a long road to being together, but I'm already the luckiest guy alive, just from having somehow caught those gorgeous eyes…

Talk soon.

Yours,
♒️