Intense… And an end is also a beginning.

I don't know if you have (or will) go back to my Spotify profile again and found that I've made you another playlist. If you have… well… the mixtape playlists that were there when I sent you my profile aren't very ambiguous, but… I was listening to the new one while doing errands yesterday and I realized: it is intense. I loaded it with at least a couple of songs not just about love and lust, but devotion. Of course, I know all of the songs I put on it. I can hear every single one of them in my head — even the one that's brand new to me, that I discovered thanks to you. But it's one thing to know them, it's another to hear them back to back to back…

That playlist, especially the first half of it, is every bit as intense as the most intensely romantic letters I have written you. Some of the songs, more so.

Well… go big or go home, right? It's all also true. My feelings for you are that intense. There is not a song on that playlist — or, hell, in existence, as far as I can tell — that would be “too much”. My love for you is as deep and wide as an ocean, as powerful and non-negotiable as the swells in a storm, and as beautiful as the skies once that storm has passed, the sun just below the horizon…

Music can capture a lot of that… but not all.

This will be the last letter I post for you here. As I was realizing just how very meaningful the playlist I made for you was, I was also realizing that, from your perspective, I may well have gone from just above an idle to having the throttle full open in the course of a few days. At some point along this journey, somehow the notion that you had found me on reddit latched on. And, until fairly recently, it's refused to let go. Even now, I'm not 100% sure. And I just can't have that uncertainty, not anymore.

I need to be sure that I'm properly calibrating my interactions with you to what I know that you know. Like, this new playlist, for example. I'm glad that I made it. I do hope curiosity gets the better of you and you revisit my profile and find it, if you haven't already. I want you to know how intense my love for you is.

But I'm also freaking out a bit about it. Though, probably not as much as I would be if you hadn't sent me directly to Work Song. Speaking of intense.

I'm still working out how to share the existence of these letters with you. On the one hand, I don't want to freak you out, so it may still be a while… on the other, I don't want to hide them from you. I want to find the right balance. Maybe… once I'm comfortable enough to… I'll write you a letter, and actually deliver it. See how that goes. And we'll go from there.

But, I might make some changes around here. Clean things up a bit. Rearrange things. Shove all the boring journal posts (like this one) to the side, so when you arrive, you can just focus on the meat…

Well. I guess I'll figure that out, too. I suppose I still have time, but… maybe not too much time? Things often move slow until they move fast… We'll see.

Love you, beautiful. And I'll be talking to you soon.

Yours,
♒️