Wishes

I wish things were simple, that we could just follow our hearts, be with our true loves without having to untangle the webs we've weaved, without risking those we most treasure getting caught in the crossfire (…again 😔…), without… the mess.

I wish I knew how to ask you how you're feeling about it all, if you're ok with the way things have been going, where you see us headed…

I wish I knew how to find things to send you, zipping just under the radar and straight to your heart, leaving you on the verge of tears — the good kind — tugging at your heartstrings for days afterwards… as you've done for me (at least) a couple of times now…

I wish that tomorrow night I could stand behind you, wrapping my arms around you as we sway to the music and the band finishes their encore with the closest thing to an “our song” as we have so far… and as the closing notes fade, I'd hold you even tighter. And as you're drying your eyes I'd lean in, whispering close enough to your ear for you to hear over the roaring of the crowd… “I love you, ⭐️. I love you.”

I wish we could just run off for a while, leave the kids and our worries behind. Bridge some of those gaps in our knowledge of each other… sitting and chatting about whatever comes to our minds until the campfire burns itself out… exploring each other openly and freely, mind, soul, and yes… body. Just enjoying each other's presence, unhindered, unworried… I hear there's a beautiful campground in Navarre…

I wish we could just skip ahead to a time when we feel safe, where we're with the person who we know we can share all of our feelings with, and never worry about them being turned against us… where I can be with the one I know will catch me, just as surely as I will catch her…

I wish I could eat with you every evening, wake to you every morning, share every day with you, be a rock for you, give you everything you need, lose myself in you (knowing full well you won't let me lose myself at all), go watch a movie with you, hold your hand, take a road trip with you, work on my thing over here while you're working on your thing over there and getting to look up from my task from time to time to find you smiling over at me. I want to sneak up behind you in the kitchen and give that butt a playful whack before you turn around to scold me with a kiss. I want that kiss to start getting a little steamy before one of the kids declares that we're gross and we remember ourselves. I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you.

God, I just wish I could taste those sweet lips right now, and every day for the rest of my life…

I wish I could just be yours, without obstacle or reservation.

Oh, my sweet my hill by the lake… I am so in love with you…

And I wish I could tell you.

Yours.