Miss You

Fuck it all. I miss you. I wish I could have been the one to hold you yesterday, if you needed it. I wish I was secure in my attachment to you. I wish I didn't lie awake some of the last few nights wondering if I was on your mind at all. I wish I had a better handle on my heart. I wish I was strong enough to just cast away my obstacles to you. I wish I was weak enough to just say fuck it and tell you everything, tell it all. I wish you were here right now in my arms. I wish I could just spend the day gazing into those beautiful eyes. I wish I knew with certainty how you felt. I wish you knew how I do. I wish this were easy. God, I wish this were easy…

I'm sorry, my love. I wish I was a better man for you, stable and safe and secure. I can be. I will be, when we're together. I know, it's only the uncertainty inherent in the situation that gets me this way. And I think I just miss you right now, so much. But, hey, I'll be seeing you a lot - soon! So, I'll focus on looking forward to that, my love. Being in your presence is all I ever even really need anymore… and is always so good for my heart and my soul.

So, see you soon, my love!

Love you,
Your (future) rock.