Adventures

Watched a movie last night, a documentary about a couple of friends taking a journey. It was mostly sweet, with a touch of bitter here and there. On a service you don't subscribe to, sorry. But it's close to my heart, for reasons I was recently surprised you knew about... I had been asked to keep that in the family for now, and so I had, but I guess it's gradually coming out... I'm glad, though. Especially when thinking about keeping all of that in for 61 freaking years... god. 15 is already more than enough. But anyways.

Emotions have been running high over here for a few weeks, for some reasons you know about, some you could guess easily enough, and maybe a few you couldn't. So I think I was already in a vulnerable spot, already a bit teary-eyed thinking about the challenges my child faces... but also the potential for eventual happiness.

And then they went on a hot air balloon ride, opening the champagne bottle at the end and all of that. And somehow, among all the other powerful emotions, that was the thing that threatened to make the tears actually come.

I think it's because, all those other things... they are challenges, but we will get through them. We've already passed the first hurdle: the kid came out to us, and is well loved and supported. There's a long road ahead, but there are whole entire communities of people to help along the way. It's going to be difficult, but we've got it.

But the balloon thing... you already have that story. Even if things go the way I'm certain they eventually will, how could I ever ask you to repeat it? I couldn't. I would never.

I guess the answer is that I just need to make it happen for myself - lord knows, nobody else will do it - before we get to that point. Then it won't matter. We'll both have our own story, and that'll be fine. We're in our forties. I imagine there are boatloads of parallel stories. That can become one of them.

Sorry, I don't even know why I'm writing this... It's really not what I like to use this space for, and anyways I wouldn't want you to feel bad or anything. Gosh, I remember when you told me the story, my reaction was to just marvel at how thoughtful you were, as if I didn't already know that about you. I had never even looked at it from this angle until last night, and I think it's just because the emotions were already elevated, and it just took me completely off-guard...

But anyways. We're going to have plenty of adventures that will be our own. And that is fine. Better than fine. It'll be perfect. And I am looking forward to it, like you wouldn't believe.

Love you.