4am Confession

I'm horny.

No, I don't mean, like, I'm horny right now.

Though…

I mean…

But, no, I just mean… Maybe not, like, all the time? Probably not even an excessive amount of the time. But a bit above average. Probably. You know. For a guy slowly but inexorably crawling towards 50. I mean, that is the one energy meter which just hasn't seemed to diminish much at all since I was 17… Frankly, I'm pretty sure it's even grown more than a bit since I realized you and I might one day be a thing…

Look, what I'm saying is, if you're up for it, there's definitely going to be some 2am love making going on in our house. And maybe 3am. And maybe even (looks at the clock) 4am. If you're up for it.

The good news, if you aren't, is that I know that I'm a lot in this regard. My other traits that you've already seen… that I'm laid back, easy going, undemanding, unassuming… those carry through to this side of me, too. Fun loving, too, but the point is, though… If you aren't in the mood, you aren't in the mood. There will never be any bitterness, nor anger. Just hope you'll be ok with the fact that I will definitely be taking care of myself later on… with thoughts of that soft skin of your thighs in my head, and a photo on my phone that really brings out the color of your eyes…

And, if work is real slow, maybe once more in the afternoon, before the house starts filling up again…

(Working from home, it turns out, has got its perks)

So, altogether not all that much different from…

Well.

Anyhow.

Ahem.

You may also be interested to know — perhaps even comforted, now that you know this about me — that I am very possibly what I've recently learned is called demisexual. It's a new term to me, I'm not sure I completely understand it yet, but it sounds rightish… basically I think it means you're only sexually attracted to people you have a strong emotional bond to. I dunno. I do recognize that others are physically appealing, but there's never any kind of actual interest in sex, not without love. But I guess demisexuality is on the ace spectrum, which… I mean. Just the thought of that perfect body of yours snuggled up against mine as you drift off to sleep is enough to… well…

So, maybe not.

Still, though. Demi or not, I do need that emotional connection. Because I may be a pervy old horndog, but to me, sex is another expression of love. When I make love, I am truly making love. Whether I'm kissing those beautiful lips while my finger makes you squirm, or I'm enjoying the struggle to breathe while you're sitting in my own personal favorite position for you, or if I'm wrapped up in your soft warmth or even in the depths of your heat, or if I'm getting so very well acquainted with that absurdly perfect ass…

(Seriously, that thing… oh my god, I have never seen anything like it… and that it's part of you… the most fun, the sweetest, smartest, most interesting, most amazing person I have ever met… good fucking god you are so fucking sexy to me, on levels you maybe never have ever even considered before… I mean, hell, your freaking independence frickin' drives me wild, rolling up on that bike all by yourself, with your “22” and your “33”, “Just rode to Kohl's!” omg take me now, right here, right on this street, right in front of everyone, please… but I digress.)

Well. Anytime I'm doing any of those things (or daydreaming about doing them), it'll be me telling you that I love you.

And the only thing I love anywhere near as much as I love you is telling you that I love you.

So, there it is, babe… I'm gonna be trynna tell you that I love you, like, all the time. But please, please don't feel pressured, don't feel bad about saying “no”. I get it. I'm a lot. I will never push, and I will never hold it against you. It's only good if you want it (and, holy god… when you need it… 🥵).

Um.

Welp.

Guess it's time to go find a quiet corner so I can maybe actually get to sleep and go back to dreamin' of those beautiful fucking fuck-me eyes………

So in love with you, babe. Seriously.

Yours.