Rough Morning

Sorry, babe… gonna shift the mood just a bit… but, don't worry… you know that other me will be back before too long…

But also, gonna break one of my rules a bit. But it's alright, it's an ongoing thing… we've talked about it before, and we'll talk about it again, just… this is my right now, and I have to get it off of my chest…

Things have still been really touch and go with the kid… in some ways they've improved, but in others they haven't. But, some progress I guess… today marks the fourth day this week that he's made it to school.

But the cost. Especially today…

I dunno, babe… You've been so supportive through all of this, and I will forever appreciate that. A really, really big part of me wishes that you and I… well. If wishes were fishes, right? And anyways, they wouldn't be the same kids, would they?… But if this universe somehow worked so that I could choose, today, who to coparent them with, I would choose you. No hesitation, no doubts. Maybe that's too much, I dunno. But you've proven yourself to be such a good partner…

And I hope you never, ever confuse “putting on a brave face while navigating the horror show of raising teens” with being happy with all of the choices that led me here.

God, I could use one of those walking therapy sessions right now… but, you know… it's so cold, plus our schedules just keep seeming to misalign. Tonight won't be any exception. sigh

I hope… No, I think that you appreciate a man who is comfortable with his emotions, because I'm not gonna lie, babe… I was gonna go and use that gift card you gave me after I dropped the kid off, but realized I had tears streaming down my face, so I just went home and used the Keurig instead. Though the shot of bourbon I tossed in maybe not have been the healthiest choice… But, hey, at least I got my workout in. That hadn't been happening much lately…

Ugh. Damn. I'm all over the place. It's been a rough morning, babe. Gotta get it all out before some family shows up at the door in a few hours…

I love you. I miss you, my lioness. God, could I use a hug………

Yours.