We Will Make it Through

Been feeling a bit melancholy this weekend, babe. Can't quite pinpoint it, but I know it's not us… I'm more confident than ever before that we will find a way — have been finding a way — to love each other. Though I do miss you a ton… Oh, don't get me wrong, I love our messenger interactions, though I gotta find some better pages to follow — so often my timeline is just pure garbage. Ah, but I get such a thrill when I'm driving somewhere and I see that notification… “So-and-so has sent you an attachment”. Makes me smile the rest of my drive, enjoying the anticipation of wondering what it's going to be… a silly Star Wars reference? LoTR? Or maybe a song aimed straight at my heart…

It's never too much, I hope you know that. I always welcome anything from you. Hearing from you, even if it is just some weird 90s culture reference, always, always makes my day so much better.

So, no… not us. I dunno. I think I started the weekend on the wrong foot when I misread my watch yesterday morning. Took me too long to figure out why the coffee hadn't been made yet. But, once I'm out of that bed, there's not a chance I'm going back. So I went and sat in my favorite chair and dozed off…

Well. This part was good. This part was very good… I had a dream. You were in it. You… probably don't want to know. I'll just say, the pearl strands on that dress look so very nice against the bare skin of your shoulder……… turns out, the other strands look oh-so-lovely against your bare skin elsewhere… never mind that in reality they're probably attached to the dress… and I do so enjoy the thought of worshiping all of you, even if I seem to sometimes fixate on one particular part, lol.

But anyhow.

Well, that was an awfully nice way to start the day, but it went downhill fast from there… just a tension in my shoulders… even now, after getting a much better night's sleep, I just had to remind myself to relax them…

It's the situation with the kid, most likely. Plus a few stark reminders of reality, a thing I read that I'm probably worried too much about, the surprise vet bill (turns out both animals are temporarily gross, in different ways), maybe a touch of seasonal affective disorder, the plan we were tossing around last weekend most likely being scuttled (trying to plan things in this house is a bit like trying to plot a course through white water before you've even seen the river, so… not a surprise to me, but don't be too shocked when the invitation never comes…), and just… you know… the world.

sigh

I dunno, babe. I don't know much, but I know I love you, and I know you love me, and we'll both make it through.

And, hey… some warmer (not warm!) weather is coming, not to mention 10 days of relative peace (for me). I'm sure we'll find some time together in there somewhere, and that always does my heart good. Plus I have questions! And I'd rather ask them face-to-face…

Well. Soon, I'm sure. For now, gonna close out with a song for you, babe… for us:

Ray LaMontagne — We'll Make It Through

We will, babe. We always do.
Love you, babe. I always do.