Thinkin' 'Bout You

I wonder how you would feel if you knew just how much I think of you… It's not reasonable. It's probably not healthy…

Walking through the grocery store, a tiny thrill of excitement as I catch sight of familiar-looking hair falling almost to the right spot, just below a pair of shoulders that could almost be yours… The tiny sting of disappointment as I realize the hair isn't quite lovely enough, the shoulders just slightly too wide or maybe too narrow… and the curtains start coming off the lie my foolhardy heart had started to tell itself…

Then I move on, turning to grab a loaf of bread and I can't help but wonder at which brand you would pick up…

I hate that I missed you last night, babe, even if it would've only been a couple minutes. I've been missing you since I went to go put on my coat to leave the other night. I miss you in every moment we're apart, wondering what you're up to, how you're doing… What you want to have for dinner… What you're listening to today… How you slept last night… How're your stress levels — need a shoulder rub? A hug?

I just think about you, babe… like… All. The. Time. When I'm working on some task, I wonder what you'd think about the results when I'm done. When I'm out shoveling the drive, I wonder if you're sitting on your sofa and glancing my way from time to time. When I'm working I'm wondering when the day will finally end, and if our paths will cross then. When I'm watching TV, I'm wondering how you'd like the show I'm watching, what comments you might make. When I lie down to sleep, I'm wondering what your bedtime routine looks like, if you've got comfy jammies on and enough blankets to keep warm. When I'm sleeping, I dream of you, ceaselessly. When I wake up in the morning, I wonder if you slept well — knowing full well you're probably still asleep.

Babe, you're just on my mind. Always. I don't mean to frighten you away… I just hope you know it. Hope you're ok with it. Just want you to know that even when the space between us feels so heavy, you are always there, always right next to my heart. Held with every single last ounce of the care and warmth that I know how to muster. And some.

Missing you tons,
Me