Always. Always. Always. Always.

This was always gonna happen, wasn't it?

I don't know quite where it started for you, but for me…

Well… let's be real honest… the first time I ever saw you? You took my breath away. Beautiful. Stunning, from day one, and every point forward.

But my heart… well. Maybe this is weird, but honestly, the first hooks started sinking into my heart as I watched how you loved your kids. I didn't quite get it yet, wouldn't be able to really articulate it for a long while, but… I don't think I was looking for anything that was missing for me. That wouldn't happen til later, but back then, back at the very beginning… I saw how you loved, and felt myself inexplicably drawn to it.

But then you hesitated getting out of my car that one time.

And you showed yourself off to me unnecessarily on that ridiculously cold morning (honey… I was, am, and continue to be impressed, but in all honesty, I would take you any which way……………… and soon I plan to take you… Any. Which. Way.).

At the start of Covid, you took a step toward me while saying something about staying six feet apart (oh, gosh, and I so failed that one…)

And then… all the rest. You dragged a gaggle of kids around the neighborhood because you had heard we were walking to that thing at the creek (which I, personally, still have never been to…). You invited me camping. You suggested we get some beers together. You said “Yay!” at exactly the moment my heart needed it. You invited me to a concert. And then another. And another. And on, and on, and on.

And now this.

Oh, hun. I know it's been frustrating sometimes. I know it still is. There've been times either one of us could have done better, done more, but we've always done the best we could, trying to work within the bounds our current lives have placed upon us.

But now this.

Oh. I could get used to this, at least for a short while. Enough? Of course not. You know it's not. You feel it right where it counts that it isn't. But for right now…

But, babe. Be prepared. Whatever we might do out in the sunshine together, normal as can be… here, in this space?

The gloves are off.

You seemed to want to know what goes on inside my head? Well, babe, guess what?

You're gonna find out.

Just know… careful what you wish for.

Yours.