Speaking of anxiety…

There's a thing that's been itching around the back of my mind for a week or two… that I have definitely been overthinking… nothing too big, but…

Babe, I usually shield you (and the rest of the world) from these little thought cycles… I dunno, not sure if it's instinctual, like a pup hiding his limp, or a learned thing, but either way I need to get better about it all… both the hiding it and just not going there in the first place, but anyways…

I've been worried about our walks the next few days.

I really want as many of them as we can get. And if we get a few that're just the two of us? Gosh, babe, you know I love that. And I hope you do, too.

But I've been sensing maybe someone has been a little… activated? lately. I dunno, could be wrong… in which case forget I said anything.

But there's also the whole other person who walks with us. And what her thoughts are about me being involved. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm sure she doesn't mind me. But, admittedly, I am a bit of an outlier in the neighborhood. You know why. And she knows why (even if the perceived reason is different). But this other person?

And (oh god here comes the massively overthinking things part…) like…

If I send an invitation to the three of us, and you accept, will she then feel, I dunno, obligated to join, even if she's not wanting to? Because… you know… the whole… status thing? Or… and… I mean… this would be my preference, but if I only invited you… and she sees us walking together, with no invitations extended her way…

Look, I'm just saying, it's probably nowhere near as complicated as my dumb brain is making it out to be, but still… it's complicated. And I really want to maximize the time I get to spend with you… it's so rare that we can just be… us, even in full view of the neighborhood. And I, for one, don't wanna miss a second.

So. I dunno. I'm thinking about it, far too much, lol. But. You know. If you have any ideas…

Anyway. I'm sure we'll work something out. And even if we don't, it's not like one of us is moving away or something…

Just. Man.

I need some you time.

Anyways… welcome to my brain, love. Sorry it's not as neat and orderly as I sometimes like to pretend…

Yours.